Christmas Eve at home, probably the best place to celebrate this holiday. I am happy because I am with my family but… Yes there is a “but” mainly because I feel I should be somewhere else right now. Ever since I was little there was no Christmas if we weren’t in the country side. That is where my heart is for Christmas. In a big tall room where the Christmas lights glitter, next to the fire place, in an armchair with the cat sleeping under the tree or in my lap. In the other room dad is watching the news. Mom and grandma are fixing dinner in the kitchen and my uncle is focused on some crosswords.
Outside it’s dark. A few moments ago I entered the house after watching a beautiful and cold sunset. The snow makes the place look magic. Feeling tired I went in the house and now I rest in an armchair and stare at the tree. Grandma gets in and calls us all for dinner.
The real magic starts the next morning when we all find the presents under the tree. We rush to have breakfast, all the traditional Christmas goodies, some toast with home made butter, a warm cup of milk and coffee and than a day full of games, movies maybe some playing around in the snow. In the evening the Moon rises above the hill right at the end of the the snowed-in street. Gray traces of smoke go up from every house, the smell is amazing. I take a deep breath in and… I can still feel it in my lungs.
Everything is still so real in my mind and in my heart. If only I could spend another Christmas like I used to, like we used to, all of us there. But there are so many reasons why that can’t happen anymore. And that is why tonight, happy as I am, I long for something different, something gone, something that I will forever keep in my mind.