Spinning Words

Today in school we talked about “Invisible Norms in the Media” and we went through issues like stereotyping, nationalism, color, identity and dominance. And the teacher made us do a little exercise that consisted in describing our identity in 3 words that we think are the most important. We talked in groups so after a 10 minute chat with my colleagues we came up with some really interesting conclusions and we found out some things that wouldn’t have crossed our minds otherwise. And that made me think a bit about me and who I am and if the words I use to describe myself are the same as the ones people use to build their image on me. I said about myself that I am a Romanian girl who loves tennis. Two of these things can be eliminated, depending on the context, the first and most simple to eliminate: I am a girl. Well, it’s pretty obvious. It wasn’t like that when I was little and acting and looking like a boy but those days are long gone. Second: I am Romanian. Important detail now because I live in Sweden but back home I doubt I’d use this as the first thing to describe myself. The “I love tennis” part is the same everywhere. So I replaced girl with student but I couldn’t give up my nationality: a Romanian student who loves tennis. The truth is that when you present yourself to someone who asks you “What are you doing in Sweden?”, saying that you are a student changes a lot of things. I haven’t felt this difference here as much as I felt it in France where saying that you were a student, even if coming from Romania, was a way to avoid hitting nationality-based barriers. However, my student status is the best way to justify my presence in Stockholm, probably even better than, let’s say, the employee status that I’d have if I were working here. Of course I could go deeper into the discussion and say that outside the University circle I am just another immigrant and then I’d hit against a lot of issues mentioned at the beginning of this post. And I don’t want to talk about them.

Being Romanian is way cooler than the perception of the majority on this nationality, being a student again is great, especially when you are studying what you always wanted and loving tennis is going to be there for long, probably just like music and my cat but I couldn’t use 5 words to describe myself so I stuck with just one of my passions. Though I like fishing too… and reading on the beach… and coffee. And probably 7 years ago I would have described myself as a goth or metalhead or something else, who knows?

Another course finished another final paper turned in. I hope that music can be considered a form of transnational protest. Of course this meant a night of working hard and going to bed at 4 am just to wake up the second morning to finish it all up. I work better at night, as frustrating and time consuming as it is, I taught myself to work like that and I can’t break the habit. But after this came a week-end of rest and fun stuff like meeting friends and going out for coffee. Stockholm is beautiful, even in the rain. You just have to find a warm place behind a window where you can gather up with a bunch of nice persons and talk and laugh as much as you can. Or you can just watch buses going up and down the street. Autumn has finally taken over, and not that colored warm one but the wet chilly season that announces that Winter might be just around the corner. It is strange that at 5 pm when getting out of school it is already dark. Something inside me is saying that it is just a bit too soon but I will probably get used to that in a few weeks.

Today I came from school and after a while I realized that the landlords built a fire upstairs so the whole house smells like smoke. This gave the place a home-ish feeling, in the end I didn’t spend all my holidays in the countryside for nothing. If only that cat were around more often.

Also this week is the last week of the tennis season so this means that starting November 12 I am going to go on YouTube and review all the important matches of 2013 and wait impatiently for the end of December when the 2014 season starts. It is not going to be nice but I know I have some wonderful things to watch until then. Another thing: this time last year I was in London and that made me feel melancholic and made me miss it a lot.

It’s the noise the ball makes when it leaves the racket and the noise the racket makes when it’s swung through the air. The rhythm of a point and the sudden change in the pace, the sound of the footsteps, slipping on the surface, the sigh for a lost point or the confident encouragement for a winner. And knowing what’s happening on the court by keeping your eyes closed and just listening to the game. And then there’s the fist. And pointing for the towel and raising the racket to ask for balls when serving. The perfect elegant swing of a forehand, the force of a backhand, the beauty of a one-handed backhand, the velocity of a volley, the speed in the serve and the gaze at the place where the ball fell. The long rally that you have to follow because you have to see how the point ends. And you know them all cause you’ve seen them so many times yet they are never the same. And that moment when you hold your breath and the second you open your fist and see traces of nails in your palm, and the butterflies and the clapping and the beauty and the passion of the game. And the silence. And all things that can’t be put to words. That’s why I love tennis!

Gustaf Adolfskyrkan

I am a little behind with my writing mostly because it was time to go back to class and work on projects. Plus we had quite a few clear and warm days and I spent some time wandering the streets of Stockholm. Unfortunately not as much time as I would have wanted and now it’s gray and raining.  So far Stockholm looks great in October, there are so many colors everywhere you look, it’s really pretty. I had the pleasure of spending some days in the company of some really nice people and we all had some evenings full of laughter and good time. Thank you all, it was great meeting you and I really hope we’re gonna do it again cause it was great fun!

Drottningholms Slott

I also played tourist a bit and went to visit Drottningholms Slott which is The Royal Palace of Sweden where the Royal Family still resides. You can go there either by boat or by buss. I took the bus because the journey is included in my SL card but for the full meal maybe the boat is a better idea though it’s a bit more expensive. The palace has a lovely garden where it’s really nice to walk around, a maze and, the best part, when going inside you have student discounts. And I also got a guided tour in English. Plus I had a nice company for the visit.

I am still a bit amazed when I see deer every day on my way to school, I guess I have to get used to that. I am probably most happy that I don’t have to take the subway to school everyday but I will have to see how I am going to feel about that in Winter. Half of the journey is on the highway the other half is in the woods.

The rest of my time has been spent wandering the streets and, as I already said, taking advantage of some really nice sunny days and also listening to music, Swedish music (because I will never learn Swedish words without putting them into context and music seems the best thing I could think about) and Finnish music, simply because I love it. I spent all morning today looking for some Moonsorrow songs that I used to listen to a lot some time ago, it was a bit hard to find them, I only ran across one, but I listened to more of their tracks and I really like the way they sound. They give a nice boost of energy in the morning. I should switch to Fintroll though. Just for the record, I am using headphones so I am not torturing my flat mates/ neighbors.

I have a busy schedule ahead with lots of exciting things coming up and I will try to make the best out of every moment. I am lucky to be a part of a great  team in school, so I have to do my reading so we can make a good job, will have to practice my cooking skills and maybe learn to make kanelbulle at home and most of all I really have to work on my time management. Looking forward to the tennis doubles final in Beijing tomorrow. Hai Horia/Max!

And to close up, my morning sounded a bit like this: